sorta abandoned my blog for quite awhile.

so much to say and just feel like vomitting it all out.

the state now? its pathetic.
i dunno why i bothered thinking so much. like for wat mann.
seriously, why did i made this stupid decision and make myself feel so fucked up at times.
i wanna just forget abt wat i said and give it all up. not like anyone seriously gives a damn abt it already. back then, we werent good, but at least we worked hard. im not saying we arnt now. but.. well, i give up on the explaining.

now its like more of like not wanting to give a damn about it anymore. 3 more mths till the end of our poly lifes. sounds like its coming real soon eh? tt day when dunno who was telling me we'll be graduating in 3 mths. i was like woah, yeah. tts REAL soon eh. why did i bother to think thru so much? i din realised time left was so little. so i was quite relieved tt i made tt decision. but its not like it really matters actually. i cant stand the state it is in now. but i dun wish to do anything. im tired and sick of all of it.
it took me long enough to realise that things can nva be the same again. i dun wanna feel dumb and stupid again.

it sucks when u noe bits and pieces here and there and it pieces up tgt and it all starts to make sense. yet, u cant talk to anyone abt it.
and it truely shocked and disgusted me how LOSER-ish some ppl can be.
it just shows how scary the world is. things aint always wat it seems to be.

i cant wait for 8dec so i can finally probably tell someone abt things.
and hopefully 18dec turns out as planned.